Babies don't blush. |
I had a friend in middle school who was embarrassed to tell anyone he was a boy scout. One day it accidentally got out and he felt humiliated at the harmless jokes people the other kids used to poke fun at him. I told him that no one would make fun of him if he wasn't so embarrassed about it, especially considering that being a boy scout is actually an honor. He started being confident and open about it and brushed off people's jokes, joining in on the laughter from the jokes-- and they eventually stopped getting to him. I've always found interesting how much people care about others opinions about them, some significantly more than others.
It's interesting to see how this self-conscious behavior develops. This is why I love working with kids, they aren't afraid to be exactly who they are and say exactly what's on their minds. This uncensored essence kids carry is something to be admired as it quickly diminishes through social development. How much less stressed would we be if we didn't have to worry about the way we come off to other people? Nonetheless, it's a key element of survival as it is reflected in all aspects of our lives-- whether it be in the romantic setting, friendly, or even professional.
Emory Report homepage
May 4, 2009
Blushing babies and the reasons why we become self-conscious
BY CAROL CLARK Put on some music and invite a rambunctious 2-year-old to dance, and you’ll likely get an unabashed show. But an intriguing transition occurs between the ages of 2 and 3, says Philippe Rochat, professor of psychology. Three-year-olds are more likely to hesitate before moving to the music. They may refuse and seek refuge in the bosom of their mothers. Those who dance may blush — especially if someone laughs at the performance.
“The fear of social rejection is the mother of all fears,” Rochat says. “It’s a very powerful phenomenon — I think it’s probably even stronger than the drive for sex. It helps define us as a species, and it cuts across all cultures.”
Rochat’s latest book, “Others in Mind: The Origins of Self-Consciousness,” was recently published by Cambridge University Press. He drew on nearly two decades of research into infant and child developmental psychology to write the book, which integrates scientific findings with his personal intuition about why we behave the way we do.
“This book is about how we become this species that is essentially preoccupied by how others see us, and how we have evolved this propensity to manipulate how others see us,” Rochat says. “The worst thing that can happen is to have a feeling of being transparent — ‘The Invisible Man.’”
The need for affiliation has long been recognized as an inherent human trait. Rochat argues that this basic affiliation need fuels a fear of rejection and a struggle for recognition that is central to cognitive psychology. This emphasis “gives a subtly different perspective on human nature,” Rochat says, adding that it helps explain everything from the common phobia of public speaking to the Facebook fad.
Rochat is also the author of “The Infant’s World,” published in 2001, which explores what babies know, and how they come to understand what’s happening around them. While both books draw from research on infants and children, they are really about the adult mind.
“Our own nature is revealed by a child,” Rochat says. “We can’t fully understand the adult mind if we don’t understand the root of this irrepressible drive to manipulate how people see us. It’s something that emerges at about age 3 and keeps growing and defining who we are as a species.”
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Sarcasm makes up about 90% of my speech. I was born into a Catholic family and currently identify as none of the above. I've lived a sheltered life that I am currently in the process of de-sheltering. I love helping people, though I don't believe in the existence of altruism.
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